neonfairytales: December 2013

I made it through my last fall term of my undergrad. I can't explain to you what an amazing feeling that was, but it is also so scary how much time has gone by and what has changed in such a short amount of time. A while back God gave me a second chance after I hit what I can only describe would be rock bottom. I almost blew that chance by not changing anything about my life and I found myself neck deep and sinking quickly. Until one day on my way to work, God asked, "Aren't you worth more?". Straight up. It was one of those signs that say, "If you were waiting for a sign, bingo". So right then and there I stopped what I was doing and got my life back to where it needed to be, and God provided amazing people to help me along the way. People who know me know I'm stubborn, and I think one of the hardest things for me to do is to "let go and let God", and I finally did. I can't tell you how radically changed my life has become because I finally made the decision to use that second chance.
In Brennan Manning's book, Ragamuffin Gospel, Manning says "When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and still play games. Aristotle said I am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer."
The fact is, God knows this, and regardless of how crazy we are, He loves us unconditionally. We just need to accept that love and have faith in it, and bingo, my life changed.
It has also changed in a couple of other ways, I just got a new job at PSU, and secondly, I'm not single anymore. In the most unlikely of circumstances, God blessed me by bringing an amazing guy into my life and I really can't wait to see where it goes.

As some of you know, this Christmas also marks the 9th year since my family fell apart and my life changed forever. This year has been so different for me, for the first time, I have actually chosen to listen to Christmas music. I can't tell you what a great feeling it was to be wrapping gifts, drinking hot cocoa, and listening to Christmas music. It's been 9 years in the making, and I am just so excited for Christmas this year. I'm sad my little brother won't be a part of it, but I'm happy he wants to spend it with my dad. I have to keep my mom company :) Christmas is just going to be great this year and this new year I have a feeling will be just wonderful. I cannot tell you how blessed I am by God this Christmas with everything going on. Tonight I got the most amazing Christmas present. I am so generally not the sappy type, but when I got this if we hadn't been in a restaurant I would've cried.

It is a completely hand made, hand carved ornament of my family's crest that he surprised me with. I had no idea! This picture doesn't remotely do it justice. It is honestly the most beautiful, most perfect gift I have been given. Just one of the many, many reasons I am so lucky to have Aaron in my life.