Social Media and iPhone Pics

"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Bullshit.

Words have more power then we will realize and once words have been said, they cannot be taken back. People don't forget the things that hurt them, they stick with you and can haunt you. They are not just words, and when you couple them with social media you provide a platform that can be so incredibly damaging. It is not only damaging to the person you are attacking, it is toxic. It can spread like wildfire and make people choose sides. It hurts. I cannot describe to you how much it can hurt and how much it weighs on the hearts of those that know what's going on and can feel for that person. In a world that asks us to be tolerable of just about every kind of person, are we to tolerate this? Are we to let this slide by us and ignore it? No. I think not. Everyone is their own person, with their own decision making process and their own rights and wants. Who are we to try to tell them that what they want is not what they should want? Think about your words and think before you speak because what you say can stick with them forever when you only think about it for that moment in time. 

Kenny and AC, my fellow Team Leads

My boo 

Mom and I went to Panera Bread for a cookie, and came out with this.

Viking Scholars 2013 with my girlie Jess

Keahi and I 

So in conclusion, watch your mouth and just love. 

xoxo,

Kate

Learning about Love

I swear I've learned more about love these past couple weeks, maybe even days, than I have ever. Sometimes love means letting go and moving on because that's really what's best for you. It sucks in the moment because it literally feels like death, but I bounce back and the love you experience from everyone around you is the best feeling ever. Then you have reminders from people that you indeed are beautiful, despite how ugly you might feel. How much guys still admire you and wish they could be with you. It doesn't take away the pain but it gives you the push to keep moving on and know that everything is going to be okay. I've been learning to just trust, and let things happen. I am such a control freak and I need to quit it! There's no chance if I take all the luck out of it! I'm just letting God do his thing with me right now and having a good time. I can feel my world and options expanding and I love this feeling! I didn't think I'd go to bed with a smile on my face but I totally do every night. Completely content with where my life is headed even though I don't know where that is going to go exactly. This time next year, who knows? I could be engaged, I could be moving to Texas for grad school, I could be in a different country, I could be in Portland still. So many options and I love it! Turning that page is really difficult but when it's time, it's time. Thank goodness. I am not dependent on anyone else anymore. That's an amazing feeling. I'm not going to let anyone be a buzz kill to that!

xoxo,

Kate

Something More

So I've been gone for a few weeks I know. I guess some pretty huge life events happened. I just couldn't put them into words or didn't want to until now. Until I knew things were over and it was time to turn over a new page, to a new chapter. I have had a crisis of conscience about my God and about my life. I have to come to the firm conclusion that I cannot just believe in fate, in luck, or any of those things. There have been times when I have called out to God and He has answered me. He has given me the "aha" moments of a lifetime. He has given me gut feelings that could only come from Him. I am a sociology major, I have studied Durkheim's theories on religion. Yet, when I think about them, they are really just theories, all of them. No one knows what happens really when we die. What if I live my life completely for nothing or for myself, and end up missing out on life completely? I love my God. He has never abandoned me. However complicated this life can be with all of its competing values and conflicting ideals. I love Him because He has me in His heart and in His vision. I may believe in gay marriage and equal rights but I believe Jesus Christ died on the cross to save me. This is my choice and my choice alone.

I am single now. Can you believe how much someone is able to touch your life? The bits and pieces and the large spotlights that were once his? I loved him with all my heart but I had a gut feeling and at times I wanted to take it all back I take comfort knowing I cannot regret my decision and that this will get easier as time passes. It brings me to knowing new people and having new experiences. Hopefully knowing myself.

So new page. New chapter. Same me. Being me and nothing else. I am excited to share all of this with you.

I interviewed for a new job today! From my bedroom, actually on my bed, and on my laptop. Technology has never ceased to amaze me. I hope so much I get this position. It will further open my eyes and allow me to have an awesome time this summer with great people.

Webcam interviews....

I am so excited to hear back from them and hopefully its soon because I really hate this waiting process. I really feel like God opened the door for this to happen and has really paved the path for me. I think He knows I need something like this right now to keep my eyes on the road and from straying away from the path. So we will see! I did my best. 

I am so thankful for Aspen right now as well. He is my buddy and my pride and joy. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have this little boy in my heart. He's the sweetest puppy I've ever met. 

Aspen and Maile 

xoxo,

Kate

Wild One

I really need to get ahold of two things: studies and money. So studies is more immediate because hey, finals are tomorrow, but first I wanted to share about some things before I go radio silent.

Have I mentioned that I love this city? I don't think I have because up until recently I haven't. Mainly because I haven't explored and now that I'm starting to I think that I'm in love. I went hiking up on Mt. Tabor yesterday and the views were absolutely stunning! Gorgeous! I was so mad I didn't have my camera with me. I wanted to share it still so I pulled a pic off of Google Images...Not as great but hey. I also had an amazing breakfast at Swift. A breakfast that was SO incredibly huge, I am eating it this morning with my coffee. Delish. Then later that evening I had the BEST pulled pork quesadilla I've ever had in the history of my life. It was amazing.  Perfect is the only way to describe it. I swear people should just turn 21 to get good food, seriously drinking schminking. I mean it! I had NO idea what I was missing. Portland may have its ups and downs but yesterday just made me completely excited for summer. I'm going to be all over this city and I can't wait for it to happen. Bring it on!

What if I...cut all my hair off.

Okay...Slight exaggeration. Sort of. I've been growing my hair out since my freshman year of college, so three years almost right now. Don't get me wrong, long hair is great. I never imagined how much I enjoy putting my hair up in a ponytail. I also never imagined the dryness, split ends, and how much long hair gets in the way. In short its just one big ugh. And for the first time in three years, I want to cut my hair off.

I have no idea what to do. My hair takes so long to grow so this is no easy feat. 

.help.

As I decide whether or not to cut my hair I'm reminded of a bet I made three years ago with my then boyfriend. A full Olive Garden dinner. Its a bittersweet memory but at the same time there's no use dwelling in the past because it only makes your future rocky. I refuse to live in the past anymore. People do not often understand how hard the past is to recover from, and how much it can affect you. My past serves as a reminder that your health and your life is so much more important than anyone else. You cannot be in a relationship if you are not properly taking care of yourself. No matter what you or anyone else tells you. Take care of yourself first. 

I've been ignoring this big lump in my throat
I shouldn't be crying, tears were for the weaker days
I'm stronger, now what, so I say
But something's missing

Whatever it is, it feels like
It's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror
Whatever it is, it's just laughing at me
And I just wanna scream

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out
What now? Whoa, what now?

I found the one, he changed my life
But was it me that changed
And he just happened to come at the right time
I'm supposed to be in love
But I'm numb again

Whatever it is, it feels like
It's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror
Whatever it is, it's just sitting there laughing at me
And I just wanna scream

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out
What now? Please tell me
What now?

There's no one to call cause I'm just playing games with them all
The more I swear I'm happy, the more that I'm feeling alone
Cause I spent every hour just going through the motions
I can't even get the emotions to come out
Dry as a bone, but I just wanna shout

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)
What now? Somebody tell me
What now?

I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know ow ow why
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know ow ow why
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know ow ow why

So what now?

I got the idea for mixtapes from Rylee Blake. Check out her blog. Link on the right side of my page. This first one is all the music that I listen to if I'm frustrated with someone or just needing to feel empowered. Its also amazing to dance to. Sometimes life just gets you down and music can just bring you back up.

Bikini Coffee, NODAC, and N.I

Three incredibly different things all combined into one post...

So this morning a couple guys from the VA and I went to NE to get coffee. Where do those boys take me? Bikini Brew. I have been asked about my views on neo-feminism a lot lately, so I guess this just takes the cake. Literally girls in bikinis serving coffee. Not sure how I feel about that. Not sure if I'd ever do that. But that may be just me. Oh well. Super good coffee. That's all I got on that.

Check out that nondescript coffee cup and sleeve. Yep. Like a bottle of jack in a brown paper bag.

Number two on my list this morning, NODAC. National Orientation Directors Association Conference for region 1. Part of my job as being a Team Lead this year involves me attending this conference for our region with part of my team. Although the break out sessions were pretty awful I learned a lot about grad school and spent an amazing time with my team. I am so blessed to be with such a fantastic group of people and get to spend the whole summer with them. They are spectacular. I am so lucky. I cannot say that enough. 

Be jealous! 

Last on my list. A shout out to N.I Nothings Impossible. This fantastic company is amazing. They support education, breast cancer, and the peace core with their awesome gear. Follow them on Instagram @nothingsimpossibleni and check out their website here.


From the N.I site:

Our Story

At N.I we are Young, Passionate, Creative Minds. That are on a mission to show Everyone Nothing’s Impossible. N.I was founded by 21 year old, Nash Iorg January 1st 2012. As time went on the company evolved to Stree Wear Lifestyle Brand, Nothing’s Impossible. We at N.I are all about giving back and making a difference in the world any way we can. 10% of our proceeds go to furthering kids education around the world in our Phenomenal Education Program.

So backstory on this picture, I got my bullet necklace in the mail from them and then I saw them having a contest to win a Peace Bullet. So I tried to win it but kinda gave up because hey, I just got one and then they decided to give me a coupon for 15% off just for my support. They are an amazing company. Definitely will be picking up their awesome N.I hoodie with this coupon. Simply amazing. 

Sunny with a side of ammo. 

xoxo,

Kate