What if I...cut all my hair off.

Okay...Slight exaggeration. Sort of. I've been growing my hair out since my freshman year of college, so three years almost right now. Don't get me wrong, long hair is great. I never imagined how much I enjoy putting my hair up in a ponytail. I also never imagined the dryness, split ends, and how much long hair gets in the way. In short its just one big ugh. And for the first time in three years, I want to cut my hair off.

I have no idea what to do. My hair takes so long to grow so this is no easy feat. 

.help.

As I decide whether or not to cut my hair I'm reminded of a bet I made three years ago with my then boyfriend. A full Olive Garden dinner. Its a bittersweet memory but at the same time there's no use dwelling in the past because it only makes your future rocky. I refuse to live in the past anymore. People do not often understand how hard the past is to recover from, and how much it can affect you. My past serves as a reminder that your health and your life is so much more important than anyone else. You cannot be in a relationship if you are not properly taking care of yourself. No matter what you or anyone else tells you. Take care of yourself first. 

I've been ignoring this big lump in my throat
I shouldn't be crying, tears were for the weaker days
I'm stronger, now what, so I say
But something's missing

Whatever it is, it feels like
It's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror
Whatever it is, it's just laughing at me
And I just wanna scream

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out
What now? Whoa, what now?

I found the one, he changed my life
But was it me that changed
And he just happened to come at the right time
I'm supposed to be in love
But I'm numb again

Whatever it is, it feels like
It's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror
Whatever it is, it's just sitting there laughing at me
And I just wanna scream

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out
What now? Please tell me
What now?

There's no one to call cause I'm just playing games with them all
The more I swear I'm happy, the more that I'm feeling alone
Cause I spent every hour just going through the motions
I can't even get the emotions to come out
Dry as a bone, but I just wanna shout

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)
What now? Somebody tell me
What now?

I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know ow ow why
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know ow ow why
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know ow ow why

So what now?